What Would Heidi Say?
Heidi's final day was the culmination of the crucible of, "What would Heidi want?" Or, in other words, "What would Heidi say, if she could share her mind with us?" The story of those hours isn't what I want to tell right now, but this topic brought me back there.
I find myself asking that same question frequently, "What would Heidi say about...". There are so many areas she studied, many of them not of interest to me (if I'm honest), but the most precious and perhaps most universal were her insights into a life of deepening sanctity. She shared some of these thoughts with me in the year preceding her death.
I can still hear the urgency in her voice, and see the intensity of both love and conviction in her eyes, as she sketched out - literally - the progression of virtue in the life of faith as God was revealing it to her through the writings of the saints. I'm so grateful for that sketch. I'm a neophyte compared to her. Faith is not primarily an intellectual practice, but hers was beautifully rich because she sought so passionately to submit her heart and will in accordance to what the graces of the gift of her intellect offered her in illumining the life of faith.
And to what are virtue and the life of faith all ordered? Love.
That is what she wants to say to me, and to all of us.
It's an entirely different, long post to detail what is meant by love; a word co-opted by desire, affection, appetite... Suffice it to say, it is not any of those. Perhaps it could be summed up as, selflessness ordered by grace for the glory of God and the good of others (but forgive me if that falls very short).
Heidi had two pages of bullet points dedicated to the topic, "How would my life look different if I were a saint?" Each point is worthy of meditation, but for us beginners, and particularly as we approach Holy Week, here are a few thoughts from Heidi, in her own words:
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
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