Mary, My Kinswoman

One of the wonders of the scriptures is that they are filled with real people with whom we can relate if we take a moment to insert ourselves in the narrative. I have a particular fondness for Peter, for example, who went from a rash and zealous disciple to a confident leader filled with the Holy Spirit.

To read through the Gospel of Luke, particularly the opening chapters, is to sit at the feet of the person who experienced it all either first-hand, or as an eye-witness: Mary. 

I recall being struck years ago by the realization that what we call the Joyful Mysteries - The Annunciation, the Visitation, The Nativity of Jesus, The Presentation of Jesus in the Temple, The Finding of Jesus in the Temple - are, at face value, not entirely joy-filled events. In fact some of them are downright terrifying! 

Working through the grief and trauma of Heidi's illness and death, I felt myself drawn to Mary in a new and deeper way, with a particular emphasis on her faith in the face of great suffering. Hers was not the first story in scripture of an angel's appearance announcing a conception. However, unlike the other barren women of Scripture - Sarah, Samson's mother, Hannah, Elizabeth - to whom this announcement meant joyful freedom from their captivity to barrenness, Mary's "yes" was the acceptance of sorrows she couldn't foretell. It brought a threat of divorce to her marriage, a temple prophecy of emotional trauma, it sent her into exile in Egypt, resulted in the murder of infant boys, and ultimately required her to helplessly witness the catastrophic horror of the merciless slaughter of her son as people jeered. 

And yet, what were Elizabeth's words to her? "Blessed is she who believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!" Jesus later echoes this as he says, "blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it!"

We tend to focus, rightly, on the suffering Christ bore out of love for us. This year has brought into  focus the sufferings of Mary's heart, born because she believed that God was faithful. 

Jesus told us that we would suffer - how clearly I see this now as I look at the suffering that he didn't spare even his own mother! This life, lived even in deep union with God, is filled to the brim with suffering. In every moment is the choice of whether we will be one who "hears the word of God and keeps it," yielding to the grace-that-is-more. (How often I remember this only in hindsight!)

Contemplating my own journey toward healing, I thought of Mary at the foot of the cross. It was with a new clarity and tears of gratitude that I recalled Jesus's words from the cross to the disciple he loved (in whom we are all called to see ourselves), "Behold your mother." I saw for the first time the depth of her suffering, the trauma to her human heart as she stood at the foot of the cross watching Christ's agony, helpless before the brutality of death. The scene felt so horribly familiar, and in its familiarity there was new grace offered to me as I found myself wondering how she processed those traumatic memories. In that moment, I sensed her reaching out to me, as though to lead me on the way she knows so well. So I hold the hand of Mary and hear with her the words, "blessed is she who believed..." and we walk together this road, trusting that God's promises are true.

The Visitation by Albrecht Altdorfer, 1513

What suffering might lay before me? I don't know, but this year has shown me that God alone suffices and his promises are true. He has given me beautiful companions for my pilgrimage - those who've gone before me as well as those present with me, who call me back to the truth that my hope lies in him alone, and in him grace abounds.

...and the greatest promise of all is that He is coming soon!

Blessed Advent